By definition, love is “an intense feeling of deep affection.” Simple, concise, and beautiful. Society created that meaning and destroyed it in a matter of minutes. Our perception of love is now muddled with high standards, red flags, green flags, “if he wanted to, he would,” the “bare minimum,” and “the phase where you start hating your girlfriend.” We rely on the opinions of strangers on the internet rather than our feelings, forever clouding our judgment.
We’re bombarded with messages about love and what we should feel. We’re told that receiving “just because” flowers is the bare minimum (they’re not). The whole “if he wanted to, he would” notion is flawed, suggesting men should read our minds and disregarding the importance of communication in a relationship. We get so wrapped up in society’s views that we completely forget our own. Couples online showcase a curated version of their relationship, setting us up for disappointment when our own relationships don’t measure up.
We want so badly to be loved, to be loved in any way we can. As Penelope Douglas’s Damon Torrance once said, “Abuse can feel like love; starving people will eat anything.” Sound familiar? This generation is many things, and one of them is greedy. Nothing ever seems to be good enough. We self-sabotage relationships, always looking for the next best thing. We constantly pick at the smallest flaws, and when we can’t fix them, we end it.
Love has turned into a massive media-produced charade. Valentine’s Day, movies, TV shows, and dating apps all give us hope that there’s always something better. Every day we see grand declarations of love and expect the same from our partners. It’s almost like we’re constantly pursuing that initial rush of excitement rather than staying to cultivate something deeper. When the honeymoon phase fades, the urge to move on instead of facing and overcoming challenges can be really strong.
We end up in a toxic cycle, ending good relationships to start new ones in search of something better, only to settle in the end. It’s like trying to jam a jigsaw piece into the wrong spot just because we want to feel loved, even if it’s from the wrong person.
