Romantic love that is.
I don’t believe in love anymore — romantic love, that is. As time moves forward, our perception of everything shifts, sometimes subtly, sometimes drastically. I used to think that certain things, like love, would remain constant. But I was wrong.
I no longer believe in romantic love, or at least not in the version society keeps trying to sell. So, I stopped searching. My thoughts swirl, forming a suffocating storm in my mind, filled with doubts and disillusionment. I see trends like “just because” flowers, but it feels more like a staged performance than an act of affection. The stereotypes of ABGs and ABBs — Asian Baby Girls and Asian Baby Boys — cling to the surface of our culture, attached to raves, boba, and meaningless hookups. Is this what love has become? A string of shallow encounters wrapped in superficial judgments?
I’m nineteen and only learned what “backshots” meant a few months ago. Is that the pinnacle of romance now? It feels hollow, empty. The weight of society’s ideals is so overwhelming that I can’t even remember what real romantic love feels like anymore, let alone what it’s supposed to look like.
And the thoughts won’t stop coming. What if my partner searches for their first love in me, trying to rekindle something I can never be? What if they’ve already given a Darry ring to someone else? What if the concept of love is dead — an illusion we keep chasing but never truly find?
I may not believe in romantic love anymore, but I can’t deny how deeply I want it. How desperately I long to love and to be loved in return. The idea of someone treating your heart with such gentleness, protecting it from harm — not standing behind you but right beside you, as your equal, your teammate, your lover. It’s a vision that warms my heart, but at the same time, it feels like a dream too fragile to ever become real. A fantasy that’s always just beyond my reach.
If society’s view on love continues down this path — reduced to situationships, fleeting hookups, and ghosting — then maybe love isn’t something I should chase. If that’s what love has become, maybe it’s better left as a dream, locked away in the recesses of my mind. I don’t want to fall in love with an idea that no longer exists.
